Just posting because I can

Well, actually I'm just posting because there are men in my living room.  It's 8:20, I'm getting Moira ready for school and there are Columbus Water people doing Columbus Water stuff to the pipes in our supply closet.  For some bizarre reason we have the shut off switch and meter and all that business for all six buildings that our landlord owns.  So whenever there's a problem we get to host the fix-it people.  I don't want to sit there awkwardly watching them from the couch (I think that's what Ben's doing) so I'm up here with Stella hanging out in the bedroom.

Hmm, what to say. 

 

Saw Underworld Evolution last night--oh, the joy of vampire movies!  

There was a ridiculous sex scene where Kate Beckinsale never alters the "oh" shape of her mouth--I mean not at all.  I guess she has those vampire teeth to deal with but c'mon. 

 

NEW TOPIC!

Yesterday Moira had hummus and  pita bread for lunch.  I sent her some breath freshening gum so she wouldn't have uber garlic breath all day.  She did this before and just spit out the gum at the end of lunch before heading out to the playground--no problem.  But yesterday a friend told her that she couldn't chew gum at school and Moira, fearing death breath, didn't eat her pita bread.  So she only had an apple.  I was devestated when I found this out.  I told her there is no rule about chewing gum at lunch but if she had questions she should have asked a teacher in the cafeteria instead of going without food.  And did I make bad breath seem like such a big deal that she would rather go hungry than smell of garlic?  I feel so bad about this.

And I guess Arju's my friend again.  She needed somebody to watch Ariful after school until they got back from a doctor's appointment. When I said that wouldn't be a problem she said, "Thank you, sister." Yeah, whatever, so I'm 'sister' again am I?  Niiiiice.

Ooo!  And I'm so excited because we ordered the Weeds soundtrack.  They choose the best music for that show.  

(And is anyone else having problems with adding pictures on blogger?  If I try to move them around, they won't stay centered and it messes up the text.  Poo!)

My fridge has become a stranger to me

Each refrigerator has a personality of its own, you know.  Your brand of mustard, your flavor of jam, your kind of milk . . . Each time you open your fridge it's a small confirmation of who you are, your individual likes and dislikes, your good habits and bad.  There should be no shock and surprise.  

But lately my fridge is completely alienating me.  Moira going to school has prompted all sorts of new purchases to house in our fridge. Her lunches have necessitated new juices and cheeses and soy meats and hummus.  I open the door and don't know where I am.

Then I was really thrown for a loop when Jessica basically unloaded all her frozen food and condiments on us--everything she couldn't pack for the move to Chicago.  So this morning I open the fridge and there's Scandinavian Strawberry Rhubarb Danish Spread sitting there looking at me.  What is Scandinavian Strawberry Rhubarb Danish Spread you ask?   It's fancy jam.  I'm assuming you're allowed to use it on toast as well as danish (danishes? dani?  what's the plural?).  I mean, I did this morning and no Swedes burst through my windows and doors to rebuke my assault on their culture or anything.  (Funny thought:  Swedish Ninjas)

This post was so pointless.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end

(now I hope Closing Time gets stuck in your head)

Endings.  *sigh*  It seems like there are a lot of those going on right now.  

Ending #1--Moira's homeschooling.  

 

Here she sits anxiously awaiting the time of 8:40 when she will leave the house to wait for the bus. 

Moira had her first day of school yesterday and LOVED it.  She came home with this big grin on her face and told us everything that had happened.  Actually, I think we were the ones on the edge of our seats pumping her for information.  She made friends and had people to eat lunch with and she found the bathrooms (I was worried about that for some reason) and informed us that they were very new and clean which I found to be an amusing observation for a 9 year old, her teacher is very nice and no one forced her to say the Pledge of Allegiance.  

My kid is such a commie.  We've never taught her the pledge and it suddenly occurred to us yesterday that that might be an embarrassing situation for her.  But she said she just stood up with everybody else.  I told her she could say it if she wanted but my budding anarchist said she had no problem not saying it, so I left it at that.  I hate that pledge--it's just chock full of inaccurate crappola and pledging allegiance to flag and country is gross.  My motto--Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your country can do for you and then complain like hell when it doesn't deliver.

My favorite Moira quote from yesterday--"I can't wait until we actually start LEARNING things."

Her having such a great time made that transition a lot easier and I don't feel sad or wistful about not homeschooling her anymore. 

Ending #2--Evie's footloose and fancy free life of pre-school play.  It's kindergarten now and that means nose to the grindstone, baby.  We start calculus next week.

Ending #3--Jessica and Brian are moving to Chicago.  This is making me SO sad.  Ben met Jessica in the last year of his undergrad.  She'd just moved here from Santa Barbara to start her second Masters in something smart and Arabic/Jewishy (how's that for specific).  Now she's finished said Masters and she's moving onto her PhD at the University of Chicago.  She and her husband, Brian, and their two rats will be moving on Friday.  *sigh*  So we're going over today and tomorrow and helping clean up on Friday.  *sigh*  It just won't be the same without them around.

Ending #4--Friendship with Arju.  Not really such a bad thing but weird nonetheless.  I've been a really horrible person and haven't been answering the phone when they call.  I've gone over all the reasons why I avoid her so I won't do it again.  (Salmonella tea!)  I don't hate her, I'm just tired of being used.  Anyway, I saw her at he elementary school open house and she acted like she was ready to walk away without saying anything to me.  I instantly thought she hated me but Ben thought I was jumping to conclusions and said even if she did hate me--Whatever.  Then I saw her at the bus stop the first day and she ignored me.  But Brandon's mom was there and Arju's always a little weird when I'm with other people that can speak English and she tends to be quiet and shy in those situations--so I thought maybe that's what was wrong.  But then the bus picked up the kids and she walked away without saying anything to me.  Awkward.  So I said "Bye" and she turned around and acted friendly but then as I got farther away she started yelling out things like, "I call you and call you but you no answer."  "Sorry, I've been busy."  "You have caller ID?"  "Um, yeah . . ."  It was really uncomfortable but that only lasted for about 3 seconds because I thought, FINALLY, this woman has gotten the point!  

I'm a jerk, end of story.

Ending #5 (and the most important)--I mourn the loss of my laziness.  My laziness had become a cultivated habit, it was like a little work of art, it was honed to perfection, it was beautiful. But now I have to be like other parents and get up prior to 9 o'clock and get my child ready for school and get myself somewhat ready so I can go *gulp* outside, again prior to 9 o'clock, and stand with her at the bus stop like the other good parents.  No more coffee in bed . . . Alas!

And this has nothing whatsoever to do with this post but I just love songs that have a hearty, high pitched "Woo!" or "Woo-hoo!" in the lyrics.  Just makes me happy, happy, happy.

Tornado!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We had the cafe last night and that meant we had to get to church an hour and a half early.  So while everyone in Dublin (where we live) was freaking out about the two funnel clouds that were sighted there, I was out in Galloway blissfully setting out cups and arranging watermelon slices.  

Once I did find out there were tornado issues, I was informed by our friend Brandon that everything was okay because one of the singers on Saturday nights is a local news anchor or something and he called the weather man on his cell phone and was personally informed that we had nothing to fear.  Later I found out that the "nothing to fear" bit was very specific to our area since the people near Lane Avenue, where a tornado did touch down, certainly had something to fear.

I love that that guy is a newscaster and I have never seen him on tv once.  I wouldn't know the dude from Adam.  I only know he works on tv because other people have told me.  So I get this little thrill every time we talk to him because he's probably thinking, "Hey, you already know who I am and you're probably a little excited to meet a local television personality such as myself."  Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "You have no idea that I have no idea who you are."  Last night I asked some people what station he was on and I got a big--"How do you not know that?!?"  Um, because I never watch local news--duh!  I have no desire to watch people tell me horrible things and follow that up with "Tonight, find out how it could happen to you."  I just shake my head at you, local news.  Heck, I don't even watch national news because it's just the same thing on a bigger scale.  "Tonight, find out more ways you and your loved ones could be horribly maimed or perhaps utterly destroyed by (insert threat here)."  I do watch Stephen Colbert's Threat Down though--because he KNOWS what's really dangerous.

Tonight

is our last night of tarnishing our souls by working in the cafe at church!  

Meanwhile, I see that there is a new video button here on blogger.  Does this mean that you can put up video sans You Tube?  

Hmmmm . . .

After some bizarre computer problems we ditched Firefox and went with Safari.  I like how the sidebar tab to move things up and down (I KNOW there's a better word for that thing) looks like a little blue gel tab.  

My goal of seeing every Alan Rickman film available on Netflix is getting closer to completion. (Hey, everybody needs a hobby.)  Unfortunately, there are about four of his movies that are nowhere to be found--not Netflix, not Blockbuster, not even the library.  Some I can't even find on Amazon.  I have to watch little clips on You Tube and feel very sad, both in the mournful and the pathetic sense.

OH MY CRAP

I need someone to hit.

I just cannot say enough about this movie

I could sit down and watch it over and over again.  Various portraits of marital, dating and friend relationships.  It was funny, poignant, agonizing, charming . . . And to think I almost passed it up because Jennifer Aniston was in it--she does a spectacular job as the stumbling through life Olivia who's trying to find her place in the world.  

Please see it.  Wow!

(Oh, and Ben loved it too.  It looks like just a chick movie but it's not.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELLA! (and me)

You might think that a narcissist like me would be bummed having someone so darn cute sharing my birthday and hogging all the attention.  But you would be sooooo wrong.  You see, this is the perfect way to hide my narcissism with pseudo humility AND brag on a very cute niece.  It goes like this--"It's my niece's birthday today.  She's a year old, totally adorable and she is sooo cool because she decided to be born on my birthday."  This is when the other person says, "It's your birthday today?  I didn't know that!  Happy Birthday!"  

Yeah, I got it all figured out.  Go Ella!

(And for some reason I'm having trouble stealing photos from Ben's site, so if you're one of three people who haven't seen Ella yet, go treat yourself here.)

Ramblings of a somewhat grotesque nature

Are you ever reading a library book and you turn the page and something is on that page and you say to yourself, "Oh hell, that could be blood," but you don't want to believe that blood is on your library book so you try to convince yourself that it's chocolate or some other food stain but all the while you really believe it is blood so you take extra care not to touch the page even though that means holding the book in the most awkward way possible?

And do you ever write sentences that are the length of paragraphs?

One time in college I bought this used textbook and found a pubic hair in it. Thankfully my roommate had the same major so I used her book when it came time to read that chapter. I suppose I could have used a tissue or something to remove the offending hair but, oh no, I was much too big a coward for that. My roommate understood.

I shall now move on to other important topics--

1. Alan Rickman runs like a girl.

2. I was able to clear up the misunderstanding with Dublin Schools and Evie's been approved for homeschool without any extra hoop jumping on my part. After a few ineffectual phone calls I sent a very polite yet firm e-mail to the superintendent that turned everything around. Actually, calling it a mere e-mail is hardly fair--it was a finely crafted masterpiece. It was subtle yet pointed, erudite without being alienating . . . it was magnificent.

3. I like to call my punctuation "creative" rather than piss poor.

Some things

First photos--

4 generations of those Iten folks.

Evie spent much of the time being hyper.

Moira spent much of the time being Moira.

And Ben felt the need to document Evie suffering from a rogue eyelash.

I didn't take that many pictures this time. I was too busy hiding. But after all these gripery posts I feel like I need to qualify a lot of my statements about Gran. She can be really sweet and she does mean well. The girls adore her and vice versa. And even though I complained the whole trip through, I did feel sad leaving her. Now she'll be back to living alone . . . without You Tube--a fate I can't even imagine.

And she really is slowing down. It was weird to come into the house and see old people stuff lying around--a walker, cane and some bathroom apparatus she doesn't use but I had to remove from the shower each time I wanted to use it. The only thing she used was the cane (to help get up from the furniture) and being 93 that's pretty darn good. But she did seem a lot weaker, so much so that I might actually believe we won't see her again. She's been threatening that ever since I've known her. And for some reason she only feels the need to mention it to me. I asked Ben if he got any of the "I won't be on this earth for long" talk and he didn't. WHY ME?!? She does the same thing on the phone. At Thanksgiving she'll talk to Ben and Brad and save the death talk for me. Awkward. Anyway, when I left I had that awful This Will Be The Last Hug I Give You feeling. And I made sure I remembered what it felt like. I've had other last hugs that I can still recall exactly. For some reason I find that important.


In other news, school is just around the corner and I'm definitely feeling that end of summer, back to school anxiety. I took Avnish to his school to get his schedule today and there were all these kids running around finding where their classes would be and checking out their lockers. "And my oboe can fit down at the bottom . . ." This was my first experience with this since my own school days and it brought up all that old nervous awkwardness. I was glad to get out of there. It was also weird because all the hallways were labeled with character building pseudo street signs--Fairness Drive, Courage Court. I looked for Bullshit Lane but couldn't find it.

Well, I'm off to try to buy some more school supplies. Ta ta.

Sooooooooooo tired

We're home!

It wasn't an eventful trip and for that I'm thankful. It doesn't make for good blogging though. I have nothing to report other than seeing a restaurant in Greenville called Stewart's Chicken and Biscuit Pizzeria.

I was mad that Gran's vote counts just as much as mine

Listening to the bizarrely uninformed comments she's made during this trip has made me bitter towards the injustice of the democratic process.

That is until I realized that my vote counts as much as Ben's. Ben watches all of the political debates, reads articles, subscribes to all sorts of crap meant to enrich his perspective on issues and candidates. I, on the other hand, see pictures of Barack Obama and his wife and say, "I hope he wins. It'd be nice to have attractive people in the White House."

Other important opinions I have--

I do not approve of the kitchen washcloth especially in meat and egg consuming households. The thing is used to wipe down the counters with water (useless except for cosmetic purposes) then it sits on the sink to dry until it's needed again. All those little germs happily breeding there just waiting to be moistened and reapplied to the countertop.

It's like when you see people in public restrooms who bother to go to the sink but only rinse their hands briefly with water. Do they really think they're doing something or are they too ashamed to just walk out without washing but too lazy to take the time to actually . . . wash? I just want to shake them and say, "CONGRATULATIONS! Now you have wet germs."

It really irritates me that I can do all the right things and still get screwed by someone else's idiocy. I wash my hands but someone else doesn't--the germs still get out there for me to potentially encounter later. My children have needed antibiotics a total of, um, once. But there are 8 zillion other kids out there going to doctors who have the foresight of prehistoric rodents and getting antibiotics when they don't really need them. So my puny actions of health and wellness don't mean crap in the prevention of drug resistant bacteria. Likewise, I can follow the rules when I drive and still get killed by some asshole who runs a red light. I do my pathetic little part for the environment and another idiot buys a Hummer, successfully undoing anything I've accomplished for the world a hundred times over. People are selfish and stupid in a world that is completely communal. Whether we want to believe it or not, what we do affects other people.

I'm also angry with Dublin schools for suddenly making me jump through extra hoops to get Evie approved for home school.

This concludes my bitching session.

I am soooooooo bored

I mean epically bored.

So bored I just want to go to sleep.

But I feel guilty going off to take a nap when I wake up later than everyone else. Actually, I don't wake up later, I'm just good at hiding in our room and making it seem that I might be asleep. I drink two cups of coffee before I actually have to show myself and then it's only a glimpse of me sprinting across the hall and into the bathroom for a shower.

I'm being really anti-social and I don't care. I don't even sit in the living room with Gran and Ben's dad. I sit at the dining room table with headphones stuck in my ears (why aren't they called earphones? Oh . . . they are.) on the computer and reading a book at the same time. My entire presence screams Don't Talk To Me I Am Engaged In Very Important Things. But I am not engaged in very important things, I am bored, bored, bored.

At least Gran is quiet today. She's been talking non-stop since we got here. And even when she's just telling stories it feels like she's lecturing you. You have to sit there and nod and say uh-huh. I feel like I'm in the principal's office--I'm not in trouble necessarily but I feel like that could happen any moment and I'm all squirmy to get out of there. Then I feel guilty because I know she spends a lot of time alone now and she's eager to talk to someone. But then I feel like shouldn't she be asking questions and listening to us as well as talking--you know, like a conversation. If I was alone all the time I would want to hear about what's going on outside my world. Then I feel guilty again.

James Blunt sucks. I love his album. It is playing in my earphones and I jump every time I hear that line about being "fucking high." It's just a bit of a shock sounding so loud in my ears in this little temple of all that is holy and conservative. I feel like an anvil is going to fall on my head.

Gran took a second nap last night when we went over to Larry and Chloe's for dinner. She woke up when we got home and was all rested and ready to go for a few more hours. But we put the kids to bed and holed up in our room for our nightly session of dvd depravity anyway. From Dusk Till Dawn was chosen last night. It was stomach turning and yet so amusing. The weirdest thing was when we'd hear Gran's voice out in the living room while watching scenes where half naked slut girls turn into vampires and rip people's heads off. It was one of the oddest juxtapositions ever. If she even knew what wickedness was transpiring under her roof ...
But then we flipped through the 3 (count them, 3!) local religious broadcast stations and that was much worse than anything Quentin Tarantino could put together--tv at its most depraved. Ben just kept shaking his head and saying, "Like watching a train wreck." And then something would happen and we'd double up in laughter and then shoosh each other and then start laughing even harder. It's going to take me a while to put what I saw into words . . .

Hmmmm, feeling a little less bored. Now I'm feeling hungry. Gran made a chicken and rice casserole and told us if we didn't want to eat the chicken we could just eat the rice in it. That's a little difficult considering it's all cooked together and the chicken is shredded and touching everything. I shake my head. She also suggested we could have a tuna sandwich or maybe some salmon if we didn't want to eat meat. I shake my head again.

OH MY WORD

Daniel Radcliffe on Extras.



I respect him so much more now.

Here's where I must apologize to Brad, just in case

I realize that I'm this complete interloper complaining about your family. When I was a kid my sister and I would pick on each other constantly but if anyone else dared to say anything to her, I went off on them. And here I am mercilessly picking on your family. So if you hate me just a little, I understand.

Of course, I'm not repentant enough to stop. So I will relate this morning's conversation about Barack Obama. I was not present for this one and it's a good thing too because I would have lost it.

Gran--You know that Osama or whatever his name is, the one running for president, has a Muslim parent so he's a Muslim.
Ben--Well, his dad was Muslim but he left when Obama was 5 so that hardly makes him a Muslim.
Gran--(continues to insist that he's a Muslim)
Ben--No, he's a Christian. He's on the board of his church. It'd be hard for him to be a Muslim and be on his church board.
Gran--Well, Muslims are good at being liars. You can't trust them. They all lie, and they teach that Allah lies and that's why they're never sure if they're going to heaven.

What the huh?!?

And the other day we were informed that "the blacks" had moved into her old neighborhood in St. Louis and ran the houses into the ground. But that recently she's noticed that more and more often black people are taking care of their property when they get it. "I guess they had to learn that."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

*sigh*

Sometimes you just want Faith by your side.

And you want to swear.

Ben’s aunt Chloe and her husband dropped by for about 10 minutes during dinner. Usually I find these two to be a nice break from Gran and her relentless . . . Gran-ness. But tonight was the We Don’t Eat Meat night. At first it went down remarkably well. They didn’t seem to have a problem with it at all. But then Larry started coming up with these facts like—On average, vegetarians live 10 years less than meat eaters and Grass fed red meat is the best thing for you. We politely said that we’d read studies that said quite the opposite. He said he “had just heard this last week” implying, I suppose, that recent statements = true statements no matter the source. We politely implied that his source was crap. And then the subject of kosher food came up. Somehow venison was mentioned and Ben said that nothing hunted was kosher. Larry refuted this by saying that all you have to do to make it kosher is wave your hands over it and say some prayer or something. And Ben said No and Larry adamantly said Yes and Ben said No again and went into details and I was very tempted to yell, “He’s got a degree in JEWISH STUDIES and you’re . . . you. Do you honestly think you know more about this than he does?” But kosher law just didn’t seem like something to get all snotty about so I just laughed at him in that somewhat patronizing way that all passive aggressive cowards use.

Then they left and Gran and Ben’s dad (yes, I don’t have a name for him. Ben and I have been married for eleven years and I still don’t call him anything. Mr. Iten is a teacher name, Al is weird, Ike is foreign and Dad is out of the question. Hey You is the closest I’ve come to giving him any sort of title.) I was in mid-sentence somewhere . . . Oh, yes—they sat around talking about killing squirrels and ground hogs. I really like ground hogs. I know farmers and gardeners hate them and find great joy in destroying them, but I just love those little guys. What can I say, large rodents charm me. And I think squirrels are pretty darn cool too--even when they destroy my bird feeder and drive my dog crazy. They’re just fun to watch. So hearing Hey You wax poetic about pumping bullets into them in addition to the weird anti-vegetarian rhetoric from the Lemon family made me feel oddly alienated. Actually, I usually walk around in a state of odd alienation but this felt lonely. I sat at the table staring at our containers of soy milk, feeling like I was from another planet and wishing Faith The Sassy Vegan was there with me. Even Ben had left the table feigning illness (no, really, Honey, I believed you). I was sooooooo alone.

And do you find it odd that people that don’t really know people ask about those people’s spiritual well-being? You’ll be glad to know, Anne and Mandy, that both Hey You and Gran have asked if you are “saved.” We told them Mandy wants to go to hell and Anne practices voodoo so the truth is out.

We watched The Patriot for the first time last night

tee-hee

It had some really bad cheesy moments--really bad. But Jason Isaacs' character was so evil it made up for it. I didn't tell Ben that I only wanted to watch the movie for one line--"Tell me about Ohio." Mandy and Ben K's compelling reenactment of that sentence was just too much for me--I had to see it. I watched that bit three times and it was very satisfying. Ben assured me, however, that if he'd known my motivations for watching, he'd never have allowed it.

Reach back into your memories, I know it's been a long time since you saw this movie, but did you want Mel Gibson to die? Was I the only one? I got such a thrill of satisfaction when his oldest son was killed by Mr. Bad Guy. I couldn't believe that was really in the script. That got my hopes up--maybe, just maybe they'll let this really be a tragedy and make Mel die. Alas. I was actually sad Jason Isaacs' character died. It was just like my love for Nina Meyers in 24. She killed my favorite character in season 1 and I hated her. Then they just kept upping her evilness until I couldn't help it--I was rooting for her. What vile thing will she do next? She stabs herself in the jugular and then wakes during surgery to take out the whole medical team and escape! Awesome! And they did the same thing in the Patriot--made him more and more and more evil until I couldn't bear the thought of something so exquisitely wicked being destroyed.

Perhaps this is a character flaw on my part. I feel like I can relate to Mr. Ollivander, Mandy. "Terrible things, but great." Okay, I'm scaring myself. I'm going to go read something tender and emotionally enriching.

"Boys who spent their weekends making banana nut muffins did not, as a rule, excel in the art of hand-to-hand combat."

How I love David Sedaris.

Golly Gee Willikers!

Gran's go wi-fi! Well, not really, but somebody nearby does and I am stealing, stealing, stealing! It's pretty come and go and I have to reconnect a lot but it's the internet darnit! I feel so much better having this link to the outside world so please post madly in order to comfort me. It only works in the kitchen so I may have to wait to post all the incriminating anecdotes--but they're already coming like mad, let me tell you.

So far this morning everything I've touched has turned into a disaster. First, I flooded the bathroom floor with water. The tub never drains properly and the shower curtain is too long so it drags in all the filthy water. So I always pull it up and let it kind of droop over the side a little. This creates a kind of trough that dangerously fills with the water being sprayed around but I've successfully managed it in the past. But today the curtain shifted and all the water fell out instead of in, soaking the floor and my jeans laying on the floor. So then I had to throw all the soaked towels in the laundry.

Then I had to wait (isn't all this interesting?) for the nasty tub to drain so I could wipe it out--because I am considerate. But the face scrub stuff I used had created a kind of sand layer at the bottom and took forever to wipe up.

Then I went to put on my make-up and my foundation had exploded in my purse.

Then I went to make coffee and I spilled grounds all over the counter. Then I shifted the coffee pot which made water slop out onto the grounds spreading the mess even further.

I've decided not to touch anything else today.

The big events scheduled for today--
1. Chloe is taking me and the girls (the girls and me? I thought me comes first in line, I comes last but is that right? Who cares.) to the dollar store later. Woo-hoo!
2. And Ben and I are making dinner. We're trying to dictate the menu as much as possible by cooking the meals ourselves. But last night we arrived to find that burgers had already been made. : (

And finally some Evie cuteness--the girls were ready for bed and I told them to go say good-night to everyone. Evie jumped up like it was Christmas and said, "Oh I love this part!"

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Tomorrow we head out to South Carolina for a week of FUN, FUN, FUN. Okay, just kidding--it'll be hell. But it's a mitzvah to visit your aged grandmother especially since we may be moving even farther away soon and these visits will undoubtedly come to a halt. (Am I allowed to feel glad about that? Urrrrrrgh! I'm such a bad person!)

So we'll be in Greenville sleeping on an air mattress, not enjoying the beach or any other fun Carolinian things, living without the internet, sneaking off in the car just to listen to our devil's music, and biting our tongues every other minute to avoid unnecessary conflict. Oh, and no alcohol. We are, however, going to sneak some movies to watch late at night. Ben thinks Quentin Tarantino will be a necessity by day 4. We just watched Perfume which would have been great for South Carolina considering the massive orgy at the end. (Oops, did I ruin it for all you people who were going to rush out and see this classic film?) But we've got part of the first season of Weeds to watch--that will have to meet our subversive needs. Oh and my Ab Fab collection will definitely be coming. *sigh* Just thinking about all this debauchery is making me feel better all ready. We will survive.

Caring is inconvenient

I've mentioned this before. If it wasn't, it'd be a much more popular pastime. I was thinking of this as I made Ben coffee just now (which is ready and I'm writing this post instead of pouring it and carrying it upstairs to him . . . I guess my kindness only goes so far). We recently started buying coffee online from Dean's Beans. We had been buying from Sam's Club--pretty stupid since we're so opposed to Wal-Mart. But we held on to that membership because we thought we'd never be able to afford all our soy milk and fair trade coffee without it. But Ben had finally had enough and canceled our membership. Then he watched Wal-Mart, the High Cost of Low Prices just to strengthen his resolve. Baaaaaad company, reeeeeeally bad company.

I started this post with a firm point, but I can't remember where I was going with this. Oh, caring is inconvenient aaaand expensive. Oh, and Dean's beans. I just wanted to put their name out there in case anyone was interested. They're organic and fair trade and Ben really did a lot of research as far as cost and shipping in comparison to brick and mortar stores and blah, blah, blah and they were the best. So while it's not as cheap as Sam's Club, it's the next best option and it's better coffee.

I wish we could afford to go all organic and buy only from companies we have confidence in but that is not in our immediate future. Someday, someday. Without Sam's Club our grocery bill has definitely increased, but I think it's worth it.

And I think Caring Is Inconvenient would be a very nice bumper sticker. I also think that God Loves You But I Don't would be nice. Or maybe Smile, At Least God Loves You. And inspired by Mandy--Life Is Just One Long Moment Of Weakness. I don't know why I've been thinking about bumper stickers so much lately. Ooo, that would be a good one too--Losers Sit Around Dreaming Up Bumper Stickers.

Just saw Order of the Phoenix again

and I must say it was MUCH better the second time around. We went with Ben, Julie and Mandy and accidentally got the IMAX 3-D version which was actually quite fun--only the Ministry part was in 3-D. I'm glad I didn't see it the first time like that though. It was SO fun sitting next to Mandy and whispering comments the whole time. I'm sure we were quite annoying. There was also a lot of laughter coming from our group when no one else in the theater was laughing. I guess we find the subtle things funny--it's a sign of our vast collective intelligence.

Important things of note:

*Neville's sweater! Yay!

*Voldemort had cavities. In this moment--you can see his crowns.

*Umbridge has a very, um, suggestive wand. I couldn't find a really good picture of it though.
But trust me, it looked like a very nasty sex toy. She WOULD have a wand like that wouldn't she.

And now that everyone's lost interest and I can no longer remember what I wanted to talk about

--here is my Deathly Hallows post.

First let me say that it took me so long to figure out what the heck was happening on the cover. When were they outside in some Druid structure, who are all those people in the background, what are those curtains, why is Voldemort falling, what the heck is Harry catching--the title of the book? Huh? Okay, so it's the final scene in the Great Hall (enchanted ceiling--duh) but I still don't get the curtains--so there.

Hmmm, big book.

Just wanted to pat myself on the back for calling the Snape and Lily thing, along with the Harry as a horcrux thing, along with Snape dying thing, along with Snape being totally good and basically the best thing ever thing, and the Malfoy's turning to the good side even though it was in the slightest way. Okay, I'm sure the rest of the world knew all that too but I gotta grab my chances to feel special where I can.

Disappointments:

--Ben and I wanted the prophecy to actually be about Neville. After everything that had happened it would have been great to have Neville kill Voldemort instead of Harry. But he did get to kill that damn snake.

--My emotional detachment. Too often books or movies try to have their cake and eat it too. They want the great death scene but they want the thrill and joy of having the characters resurrected too. So throughout the book, if a beloved character died, I didn't believe it at first. That really ruins the emotional impact, let me tell you. And ultimately she did pull that crap with both Hagrid and Harry. Harry's bit wasn't too bad though. She explained it pretty well and while I was a little disappointed he came back b/c I'd finally invested enough to feel grief and that was torn away from me, I forgave her. ("Will it hurt?" Ugh! Total tear fest.)

--Snape's death. Even though I knew it was going to happen, it was still horrible. Seriously depressed me. He was my favorite character. Kill Harry a hundred times over but save Snape! Alas.

--And Lupin and Tonks' deaths really pissed me off. First of all, I was angry that both of them came to fight when they had a kid at home. (Oh and about that--you're wizards for God's sake--don't you have some handy dandy birth control spell?!? Novices.) I know they needed all the help they could get but risking both parents was a jerk thing to do. Actually, I was a little angry at everyone's deaths. I really connect these books to the author so I don't just accept what happens, I think WHY did you have to write that? I know it would have been stupidly unrealistic (because if Harry Potter is anything, it's realistic) to have everyone escape unscathed, but still. I did see part of that interview Rowling did with Meredith (we're on a first name basis) and she explained that she wanted to have a mirror of what happened with Harry. She wanted a child to be cruelly orphaned to show just how evil Voldemort was. Fine, I forgive you . . . again.

--Bellatrix being killed by Mrs. Weasley. Rowling had done such a good job of making Bellatrix this formidable force of evil that having her offed by Molly Weasley just didn't do it for me. I know that was probably the point--evil BITCH (yes, I loved that part) anti-mother killed by the ultimate mother. But I still think McGonagall would have been a better choice. That witch can kick ass!

--Never finding out why Mrs. Norris is named Mrs. Norris. I thought for sure there was some story there. Bummer.

--Houses still being in place at Hogwarts in the end. Haven't we learned our lesson, people?!?

Huge gratifications:

--all the stuff I was right about! (Have I mentioned that I was actually right about something?)

--Snape's memories were quite nice. I was glad we finally got to see the sympathetic side of him. Finding out why Petunia was so upset by magic was nice too. Everyone's just so damn wounded and human! *sniff*

--All the Dumbledore insight was also very satisfying. I like the way she progressively made Dumbledore more human and flawed. It just makes him that much more lovable. Nitwit, oddment, blubber and tweak. *sniff again*


Anyhoo, I'm sure there's a lot more that I can no longer remember but that's the overly long gist of it.

Sad it's over.

F**K--the documentary

As you may have guessed, I don't have a problem with foul language. I do have a problem with people who have replaced all meaningful vocabulary with swear words. Booooooooring. I really appreciate a nicely placed swear word. So I'm really enjoying this documentary on "the f word." I haven't finished yet but I did watch long enough to see the bit below from Billy Connolly which had me rolling. Ben has finished it though and says it's everything that This Movie Is Not Yet Rated (which was intolerable and he didn't even finish) wanted to be when it comes to discussing censorship, freedom of speech and cultural norms/sensitivities. Oh, and it's really funny. He warns that there's quite an adult scene at the 40 minute mark--watch out or not or whatever.

Um, this has that word in it . . . a lot.